In order to streamline the handling of problems with the Engineering
 systems, your friendly systems administration team (that's me) has endorsed
 the following ISO 900000000 policy.

 Please fill out the following questionnaire each time you have
 a computer problem and email it to both my exchange and UNIX account.

 With your co-operation I should be able to
 provide faster and more efficient service and support.



 ----------------------------
 COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM
 ----------------------------

 1. Describe your problem:

 ________________________

 2. Now, describe the problem accurately:

 ________________________________
 ________________________________

 3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:

 ________________________________________
 ________________________________________
 ________________________________________
 ________________________________________
 ________________________________________

 4. Problem severity:

 A. Minor      __
 B. Minor      __
 C. Minor      __
 D. Trivial    __

 5. Nature of the problem:

 A. Locked Up  __
 B. Frozen     __
 C. Hung       __
 D. Shot       __

 6. Is your computer plugged in?

    Yes __ No __

 7. Is it turned on?

    Yes __ No __

 8. Have you tried to fix if yourself?

    Yes __ No __

 9. Have you made it worse?

    Yes __

 10. Have you read the manual?

     Yes __ No __

 11. Are you sure you've read the manual?

     Yes __ No__

 12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual?

     No __

 13. Do you think you understood it?

     Yes __ No __

 14. If 'Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?

 ___________________________________________

 15. How tall are you? Are you above this line?

 ___________________________________________

 16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the
 problem occurred?

 ___________________________________________

 17. If 'nothing', explain why you were logged in:

 ___________________________________________

 18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?

     No __

 19. How does this problem make you feel?

 ___________________________________________

 20. Tell us about your childhood:

 ___________________________________________

 21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem?

     Yes __ No__

 22. Can't you do something else instead of bothering me?

     Yes __


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